TESTED Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8.
WHAT IS IT? High-performance sport utility.
HOW MUCH? $40,725 base for 2008; $45,690 for ’07 model as tested with $1,645 navigation system and backup camera; $2,095 SRT Option Group 1 (Sirius Satellite Radio, remote engine starter, power-adjustable pedals, rear parking assist, rain-sensitive wipers; heated front seats); $800 sunroof and $225 Red Rock Crystal Pearl paint.
WHAT’S UNDER THE HOOD? 6.1-liter Hemi V-8 (420 horsepower, 420 pound-feet) with five-speed automatic transmission.
IS IT THIRSTY? With an E.P.A. rating of 11 m.p.g. city and 14 highway, the SRT8 has a serious drinking problem. (Overall mileage as tested: 9.9 m.p.g.)
YOU may have heard about Chrysler’s new lifetime warranty. Buy a Chrysler, Dodge or Jeep and the powertrain warranty remains in effect for as long as you keep the vehicle. I’m already looking forward to stories in 2038 about geezers tooling around in 2008 Jeeps that are road-going ships of Theseus, on their fourth engine and fifth transmission yet still under warranty.
If I had an infant, I’d be sorely tempted to buy a Wrangler, put it in the baby’s name, then feel incredibly smug 16 years hence when the family’s high-school beater is still under warranty. Maybe I’d buy a homely Compass, too, just to keep as a threat.
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But read the fine print of the End Times Warranty and you’ll see that not all Jeeps are eligible; the Grand Cherokee SRT8 makes do with a three-year or 36,000-mile warranty.
At first I thought that strange — the SRT8 is a Jeep with absolutely no off-road pretensions, and therefore no chance of getting a tree stump through the transfer case. But once I got behind the wheel I realized that each shiny SRT8 you see on the street has probably been subjected to mechanical savagery to make, by comparison, the most dented and mud-spattered Wrangler Rubicon seem as benignly chauffeured as the Popemobile.
What’s the line about absolute power corrupting absolutely? Well, if you are the slightest power-hungry the SRT8 corrupts your driving style because you’re constantly tempted to put the spurs to the animal under the hood, a 420-horsepower Hemi V-8 that emits a thunderous bellow from twin four-inch exhaust tips.
While every other recipient of this motor has rear drive and is thus traction-challenged off the line, the Jeep has all-wheel drive. Floor the throttle and the rear tires scratch the pavement for a moment before power is ushered to the front and 4,819 pounds of S.U.V. leap forward like a goosed hippopotamus. Jeep says the SRT8 will zip from a stop to 60 miles an hour in less than 5 seconds — even in the rain.
Members of Chrysler’s Street and Racing Technology group didn’t go home once they’d bolted their signature motor under the Grand Cherokee’s hood. For instance, I can confidently declare, without so much as a Google search, that this is the first Jeep to employ Italian brakes — four-piston aluminum calipers from the house of Brembo, squeezing front rotors that are larger than the entire wheels of a Chevy Aveo LS. (Even the rear discs, at 13.8 inches, dwarf a Corvette’s front rotors.)
The SRT8’s wheels are 20 inches of forged aluminum wrapped with Z-rated Goodyear Eagle RS-A tires, 255-width up front and chunky 285s on the rear. Lest we forget this is a truck, those rear wheels are bolted to a heavy-duty Dana 44 solid axle, an item so cherished by off-road aficionados that you can buy sterling silver earrings cast in the likeness of its differential cover. Just the thing for the little lady who appreciates a sturdy ring and pinion.
The SRT8 puts up big numbers, but it’s like a hockey goon — all brute strength and no finesse. Those heavy brakes, wheels and rear axle thud crudely over bumps. Directional changes are effected with all the lithesome agility of a sinking tugboat. But when you point it straight and bury the throttle, you experience Porsche Cayenne Turbo performance for about half the money.
Did I say all was forgiven? The fuel consumption qualifies as unforgivable. I averaged 9.9 m.p.g., mostly in urban driving. Now I may have driven as though I had a trunk full of moonshine and federal agents on my tail, but the Grand Cherokee SRT8 brings to mind the old chestnut: if you left it running at the pump, would it ever fill up?
But I doubt that many people are racking up big mileage commuting in Grand Cherokee SRT8s. This is a special vehicle, an occasional toy in the vein of a Porsche or Corvette. I had valets complement it and park it next to their booth. The SRT8 strikes me as the kind of oddball limited-edition performance machine that will inspire a cult of people who will cherish its strange talents for years, long after its thirsty V-8 is out of style — and out of warranty.
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